holy shit kaff kaff when will it stop? if you ever read the homey gino's blog, you will know that life in saint-etienne and maybe just france/europe in general is hard on the LUNGS. recording and partying and performing in the crevvest of buildings and breathing spores left behind by the body snatchers will have vines growin in your chest cavity, not to mention the tobacco use of 7 sugar cane slicing cubans on top of dehydrating coffee with every meal and hash ciggies being chased by said tobacco usage ... its hard out there for a cilium. anyways, i thought my return to Tobacco Road would still be enough (proportionately) to provide some relief but i guess so far i have just not been able to ease up enough on the inhalants ... but a trip to the doc leads me to believe i might live as long as i take some antibiotics, i.e., "we protect you by killing you over time" so you know, maybe i can at least make it to the premiere of my first music video directed by hype williams' daughter on MTV 7 and then i can die in peace, with all the girls i've written songs about in white robes standing around me while a grey-bearded sadat x reads me the last rites just because i like his voice and i paid him a lot and his manager explained all that to him as he rides in the hover-taxi on the way over and asks "tell me why the fuck we are doing this again?"
i was the only white person in my crew and one of very few in the building ....
holy shit, i had the best fully nude time ever. i will never go to no stiff-ass, flat-booty-ass, no-contact-makin-ass, stupid-bouncer-lookin-at-me-for-touchin-a-thigh-ass, 7-dollar-house-rum-and-coke-ass strip club ever again. keep it crev, y'all, and check this place out when you got some money to burn and are looking to let off some steam, because these ladies will make sure that you leave with an empty coin purse.
i would go into great detail about my night at this establishment, but i think that it is best that i don't. however, i have never felt more like Gucci Mane in my life (i did not link Gucci up as i would have liked cause i can't find the funny old version of the "freaky gurl" video that he did in a strip club for what looks like a 1000 bucks) ..... really doe.
i don't know how i JUST heard this song for the first time in richmond on my friend's radio television thing .... or WHY i didn't know about it (tho i can hear my friend Lockjaw being like "fool, i sent you that mp3 like 5 years ago you herb!!!!) ..... or why someone just uploaded the only version of this on youtube that i can find .... but .... y'all ma fuckaz need to hear this song.
i was getting dressed in the morning and i swear i almost fell over as this came on because i thot it was just the LL Cool J song .... say what??!?!? who the fuck is this female version of Schooly D (seriously, listen to this song, they rap exactly the same) ????? anyways, its Leshaun and the group is 2 Much. the song is super dirty and funny and that synth line is worth a mint. i think they got her on the LL version, tho, but i doubt that is her in the VIDEO ....
so i got a mixtape out of some classic tracks and some semi-new ish ... the idea being that this is a mixtape presented to you as a fliptape. there are 15 tracks on this that are all songs you probably know and love (except for a few random crev joints), chopped up and re-arranged by me so that i can rap over the them or say something clever using someone else's words. (note: angel flip was produced by subtitle in a cold, grey region of france.)
i flip a gang of my favorite artists including prince (of course), radiohead, depeche mode, and wolf parade. i even flip kelly clarkson's since u been gone.
yeah, i like that song, fuck you.
so i play synth on a couple and the always electric jake dead spits a verse on f so pretty.
download that mafucka for FREE right here-------> FLIPTAPE
and speaking of free downloads, my whole label clique got all types of records you can cop on our site, and while you're there you can check out our ridiculous blog.
if you know me (read: well) then you would know that i am plagued by dreams featuring celebrities. perhaps this is from growing up in hollywood and reading so much people magazine that it was featured in the title of my first album ..... yeah, that's probably it. there have been such classics as snorting coke in a hotel room with alec baldwin (that we were being held prisoner in) and the one where i was having dinner with a group of people that for some reason included courtney cox and anthony hopkins. i have had sex dreams featuring myself and actual porn stars, and i have been james bond in a dream before. i am a nerd. anyways, last nite i dreamed that i was dating (and riding around in a vehicle with, she drove) britney spears (she looks good, tho!! like she does in this video, but i had never seen that until right now) and we are making out here and there and i got my hand on her thigh in the car (truck?) and then later we are hooking up and she is giving me a hand job and i wake up to my clock radio ... russ parr as usual on K97.5 ......
things were just getting good but there was some weird dream stuff going down with it, like "huh?"-type shit, but anyways ... i need to get up cause i got shit to do and i got the clock radio playing like i said and they come back from commercial and this old jay-z/pharrell/n.e.r.d./whatever song comes on, like "so and so likes to smoke la la la la" you know that shit, anyways, i have never been a real jay-z fan, i can say "yeah, yeah, he ripped that" or whatever but i have never been a fan, i just was never willing to give it up for him like so many people seem to do. he seemed over-rated and just plain smarmy all the damn time. but seeing as how i was trapped there waiting for my britney spears-induced hard on to go away so i could piss and that the speaker in the radio doesn't give u a whole lot more to pay attention to than lyrics .... i was forced to listen to jay ... damn, that mother fucker is good!!!! plus, i hear things in his style that i might have scoffed at in the past, but i totally do now, like weird rhyme-ings of the same word and shit like that. i was stoked.
back when i was a hard-headed rapper and lived with the homey Uncle Tane, we had this Winnie The Pooh suit that i happened to don on a few occasions. we often fimed these episodes .... here is one of me being mauled by Tane's large and boisterous boxers, Boo and Knucks, in the backyard.
the best part of the Pooh suit was that it had a button you could push that would make it say "i've got a rumbly in my tumbly" .... a line i still use to this day.
be sure to go to the nodcraft site to order all types of fresh gear (including CREV options), graf DVDS, and more.
okay okay okay i am inspired to get back on the blog mission here since homeys that were not quite as active as late on theirs seem to be getting on it. i am particularly inspired by my man gino getting back in the blog game, because he is one of the people i always talked to about it, like "shit is too crazy, how can i write about everything?" ....... but it seems like he is getting ready to hit y'all via the tech-know blog so make sure you check that out.
as for me? lawdy. grind city. sick town. babe land. last one maybe in my head. just cause i am talking to girls all the time does not make me a mack, i am more of a shoulder to cry on than a d**k to ride but at least i don't hang out with dudes all the time. i was lucky enough to have a very nice lady by my side as i experienced the worst stomach flu EVER, a week that i would like to think of as my own version of Love In The Time Of Cholera even tho i have no idea what that is about, i didn't even read the link i just set up, i am just assuming it about people being romantic while someone has diarrhea. my experience was more of the "absolutley insane violent futuristic vomiting" type tho my ass did leak some as to be expected. highlights of my experience include throwing up neon-yellow mucous/stomach bile on my hands and knees on mulch pile in a hotel parking lot and spending 3-4 hours in the ER on christmas eve. (the ghost of Anthony Edwards was there, i told him to get the fuck out of here) ...... seriously, throwing up made me feel like this guy ... replace old man with a toilet and the alley with pink tile and this is a pretty accurate depiction of what it was like.
(stop clicking it, it doesn't do anything)
anyways, said lady was very sweet and managed to stay by my side through it all even though we had only really hung out twice before it all began ... i will respect her privacy by not setting up a link to her myspace page as i would usually do, but just let me tell y'all that she was/is an angel, because anyone who would go out with someone for the first time on a friday and then take them to the hospital and stick their dick in a bottle so they can pee on the following wednesday is a pretty rad person. amen.
but one good thing did come out of christmas - my video for "mary christmas"
filmed and edited entirely in one day. don't ask me why i am finally posting this a week into january ....
part-time blogger, full-time space cadet, full-time rapper, record label starterer, briefcase rocker, terrible parallel parker. never been a sucker so don't play me like no lollipop.
