TOP 15 of 2011

1 Smart Phones - i got an HTC EVO this year. i am sure that i don't do anywhere near the shit on it that it is capable of, but between (is that what you say? between? i'm way too high right now, that just sounds ridiculous for some reason) being able to check my email facebook twitter on the fly, angry birds style video games, decent pictures and video, talking out texts, and hella hella googling - i am super stoked. big step up from the Rumor.



2 DJ Quik The Book Of David - i have been a DJ Quik fan since i first heard him in 7th grade. Quik is a world class producer, but he can rap better than most. Ghetto Rendezvous is a great example of this. plus, this album reminded me of how good Suga Free is.



3 Diet Cheerwine aka DC - Splenda®, bitch. i like to pound one for breakfast. i drank more Cheerwine this year than in my entire life. it's delicious.

4 Getting Faded And Ordering Clothes Online - if it wasn't for that, i would have got wayyyy less gear this year. laying in bed, super buzzed with my laptop, not a care in the world except trying to figure out how big the model is so i can determine whether or not i need a small or medium.

5 Heads On Sticks - HoS fucking ruled this year. songs like Alabaster really set HoS apart from any other act. and we did Bull Horns, which was definitely one of the hottest local collabs of 2011. if you didn't have a crush on David Mueller, then you were not straight or gay.



6 Tipping - tipping is cool, and if you suck at it, then you are an asshole. what goes around comes around, so even if just for karma, you should go h.a.m. when you tip. plus people who work jobs where they get tips usually work pretty hard. you don't have to tip someone who sucks, i guess, just don't be a dick. i did some pretty swell tipping this year, and i feel good about that.

7 Kings Barcade - this is my favorite venue in the Triangle right now, i had so many great times there this year, whether i was playing or not - like when that huge fat guy was on stage with me and i did a song on his back, some rad dates and dancing, and LOTS of champagne cocktails. Raleigh knows how to party and some of the bartenders there are the homeys and the sound is on point and then sound guys are nice and the space is cool and i just fucking like it. i googled images of Kings and the 3rd picture was this weird one with Mike Dillon in it.



8 Twisted Noodles - fuck, i wore this place out, mostly the semi-new location at Eastgate in Chapel Hill. i ate so much tom kha noodles this year, i craved that shit. but today it kind of grossed me out for some reason, i guess it was bound to happen. but definitely a favorite of 2011.

9 Motorcycles - motorcycles are the best! my bike is sick and was hooked up by Combustion Cycles, those guys are the homeys, they are awesome. so many good times on motorcycles this year: going to Ohio to pick one up and taking turns riding it back, delivering records to stores in half the time it would have taken in a car, riding all around with my boo, going nuts with Jake - i would post a picture on here but i don't want to get the haters all worked up. also, i don't want you to know it's me when i go by doing something really stupid, like drinking a milkshake. aw, fuck it, here's a picture. that's Jake's bike on the left.



10 Veelee - Veelee was one of the best bands of 2011, obviously. i truly dug their music and saw so many good shows. i loved The Future Sight and that i got to work with them. they are both good friends and i think they totally made a lot of people stoked.



11 Guns - guns are cool, get over it. shot a bunch of guns in 2011, including a shotgun and gnarly rifle for the first time. wear ear protection for fuck's sake, it doesn't make you a pussy. that saturday with my good friends was one of the best days of 2011. see more photos of that day here.



12 Subtitle Brief Bloom and s.h.a.r.k. BRIEF - while you were jocking Odd Future, you were busy not jocking Subtitle. both of these records had dope shit on them, particularly hot mess (i'm a) off s.h.a.r.k. BRIEF. this dude has BEEN weird, and is another consistent producer/rapper combo. pretty strange that he is not an underground household name. i mean, he is. but a much bigger one. i could say more, but he says enough about himself.




13 Durham - man, now that Durham seems to be sucking its own dick a little less, i am really starting to dig it. i hung out a lot more there this year, even more than when i lived and worked there, and i got to say i am stoked on Durham. my favorite things are/were the female luchador wrestling and the Halloween dance party at Motorco, the Pinhook anniversary parties (my freestyle with Javelin!), The Carrack art gallery, Big Freedia at Casbah, brunch at Watts, hanging out on Gattis Street, Combustion Cycles, Duke Gardens, Whiskey, shirlette ammons, Maria Albani, Saigon Grill, Chasing The Unicorn (and the premiere at Motorco -- amazing!), and the unofficial funeral i saw on the side of 15-501. pretty bummed i didn't go to a baseball game.

14 Drugs - drugs felt good this year.

15 Netflix - see above. holy shit, Jake and i made couches our bitches in 2011. i/we watched so many many movies. only on the watch instantly streaming tip, fuck getting movies in the mail. but yeah, it was the best. the BEST. i gave a lot of garbage a chance this year, like Cool As Ice (which i couldn't get through no matter how many times i tried). i discovered that the Koreans and the French make really great movies and that sometimes you will say to yourself that you really wanna watch so-and-so and you can actually find it on there! oh Netflix, you were really good to me in 2011. thank you so much. Vanilla Ice, go fuck yourself hard on a cactus because you are a disgusting human being. i can't believe someone let you say "schling a schlong" in a goddam movie.

NYE w GT and DUT

o saturday

(this was about halfway through the day. it doesn't work anymore.)

"what are you gonna do today?"

"shave?"

you know what he's got that you don't?

and how.

gawwwww, finally.

i wish i saw more posts like this instead of references to my "fat thighs" and "arrogant walk".

the hopscotch song

uh, guess i should have posted this last week, but there was too much going on with said music festival and other such fun times and hair-pulling/ripping. basically what we have here is a song i did to insert myself in the madness and fun of Hopscotch Music Festival which i played in last year and had a blast. i shouted out some of the local celebrities and friends one might have encountered. fun was had at their expense, and since i am flipping "going back to cali" i had to do ridiculous whisper lyrics. i wish i had an excuse to do that more often. but yeah, no one is supposed to be offended by this.

the hopscotch song.

get under the table

mmmkay. so, like, today there was an earthquake. it was totally small n all, but it was HERE. felt. in NC. where we don't have earthquake drills. we have hurricane drills. and we probably got a hurricane coming this weekend. so this shit is just wild to me.

i am borrowing a casio sk-1 from my dear friend, matt park. i decided to break it in today and as the song took shape, i started rapping about the earthquake. so here it is. the earthquake (hurricane) song.

download it for free or stream it: CLICK ME

wonder what plan i will use to survive by?

new song, billy idol flip. emo G shit. holler back.

thug motivation

nuff said.

meet me at the trap. it's going down.

at The Locker Room, the mansion i live in with Jake Neal, we got some roaches. big dogs, little dogs. black, brown, black and brown. some high, some low. one named Mary Jo.

they mostly kick it in the kitchen, but they have been known to crawl in bed with us or skitter through a young lady's hair, laying eggs no doubt.

on a whim, i put down some roach traps from a dusty box with a picture of James Madison on the side, so they must be old.

there were only 3 left. i put one on the kitchen counter, one under the sink, and one in the corner where Jake's room and my room meet, so that the roaches who play favorites will all have an equal distance to death.

last nite i thought that i had been seeing way less roaches. i wanted to say something to jake about it, but i didn't, for fear of some joke at my expense. (why would there be a joke at my expense for something simple like that? do you even know Jake??) about 15 minutes later, Jake made a comment about seeing less roaches. it must be so, then.

anyone got an opinion on roach traps? do they work? our shit was HECTIC for a while there. is it a weather change? the fact that we are keeping the AC at 65, runnin around in sweaters with hard ass nipples? is Izzy Da Kat eating more and more bugs since we have not given her any kibbles since June? i would love to think that three little translucent black poison boxes the size of a matchbox car could single-handedly bring down the gang of street toughs that have been terrorizing our neighborhood all summer. thoughts?

lying over you

i'm really proud of this.

cover girl

well, me and my golden mistress have hit the big time. after contacting various publications and news programs about our golden offspring and how we plan to raise him together as an intermineral couple, we finally got a bite from FEED Magazine. they wrote a great story on me as Juan Huevos, as well as documenting our struggle, from the incessant shouts of "Goldfinger sucks!" and "Goldie lover!" and "How's the porridge?!?" to the constant stares to all the money we spend on polishes and rags to keep her and our baby shiny ... it's been tough. really, really tough.

read the article: thefayettevillefeed.com/the-golden-era-of-juan-huevos
photographer: raulrubiera.com/site/gallery/portraits/

re: my new album

well, it only took almost 2 years for me to have a proper release since i dropped Treasure Bath in October of 2009.

i have some things i want to say about that time period of my life and how it directly relates to this record, but i think i just won't.

i didn't set out to make a (mostly) non-rap record with Stoic And Cowboyesque, but as the songs came about, i wanted it to be that way. "Swatch Watch" was a last-minute replacement for a rap cover of The Beautiful Ones that i produced myself and was mildly proud of.

i had originally wanted to name the EP Single White Male but after my friend Hannah described the staring-deeply-into-a-houseplant-while-i-stand-up-and-drink-beer-solo-at-a-bar style that i was sporting one evening, i knew had something better to call it.

"Low Low" was actually started in 2008, but finished just recently since i was finally able to figure out what direction to take the vocals after re-visiting it and fleshing out the production more.

i wish i would have had Shane Hartman do more on the record, but all he did was play bass on "Door Test". Nick Petersen mastered the album, and helped preserve the heat that gets lost between my 8-track and my computer, as well as bringing out the low end and fuzz that helps distinguish these songs from a lot of my other music.

B.E.A.R. is the crew, Grip Tapes is the label, The Locker Room is the crib, and J Waves is the alter ego. can i get an amen?

i could say more, but why?

download this bitch ---> Stoic And Cowboyesque - it's free. duh.

roadside attraction

droppin a deuce by the side of the highway in Columbus, OH. sometimes it's better than the alternative. photo courtesy of George Brazil, my lookout and, apparently, photographer.

crev.

deadwood

from my show with The Memorials. photo by Nicholas Williams, who knows what angle to shoot a photo when there is a tiny, weak-looking crowd. he also took some of the band that are on their site.

get like me

we work together

haircut time

new track with Heads On Sticks

me and the homey done did it, y'all. a brand new track with various versions awaits you by clicking ... right .... here.

brought to you by Grip Tapes.

Run Tell Dat

my roommate's in a band. it's called Run Tell Dat. he's the only one in it.

purple

Prince is tonight, y'all. i am so excited. i am going with mark little aka MGL and we been homeys and Prince fanatics since we met in '89.

i wrote a blog for The Vinyl District and made them a free downloadable mix that you can get from their site or right here ---> Huevos Favorites

plague pt. 2

i couldn't just leave it there.

plague

i am so sick of that deadmau5 dude and his dumb ass helmet and how linking up his website here made firefox crash. i only thought of him just now because of what happened and i wanted some kind of intro beyond "on my way out of whole foods today, i saw something weird." k, here we go.

on my way out of whole foods today, i saw something weird. well, not so much weird, though it became weird. it looked like there was a piece of leather hanging down from the hubcap on my back wheel. (the photo above is from later. when i saw it, it was facing down.) i debated just letting it ride but i wanted to make sure it wasn't, like, a piece of tire or some shit. ya know, "safety first" is like my middle names, duh. so i see that it is indeed a fuzzy lil piece of leather so i grab it and pull it and i strip off its outer layer, to reveal a shiny, pinkish red strip, at which point i actually think that maybe its some kind of plant, and that is, like, the stem or something, i'm just really confused. then i see the whiskers sticking out and i am all "omg, i just ripped skin off of some dead rodent and this is really gross, i am going to get the bubonic plague on my paper coffee cup and spread it to the world." i wipe my hands on a snotty tissue from my car and throw it on the ground, sorry litter-haters but i ain't puttin that shit BACK in my car to touch later, no weezy.

basically, a mouse got smashed all up in my hubcap, and i really have no idea how it could have happened. but his lil stripped bit of tail was still hanging out when i got home and you could totally see homeboy all smashed up in between the hubcap and the wheel.





i really like the lighting in that last photo. my hypothesis: mouse climbs up in between wheel and hubcap where there is room to chill. mouse kicks back like "aw yeah, this my new mouse crib, i'm just gonna post up here and nibble on this pizza crust." and then i get in the car and take off, and the centrifugal force of the spinning smashes homey to the outer edge. too many G forces for the dude. squish.

THE END

nice blog about the kid

last sunday was the Veelee 2nd Anniversary party with myself and Motor Skills. here is the link to a blog post that unfortunately reveals that i am a very nice guy, which pretty much fucks up my whole image. but it does delve deep into the "who the fuck is Juan Huevos?" mythos. (i am pretty obsessed with the word "mythos" right now.)

thanks for the kind words.

love song mix

so, i did a love song mix for valentine's day for the folks over at The Vinyl District and i realize it's a little late for that now, but you don't need to be celebrating a fake holiday to get down to it. you can read all my funny quips about the tracks here.

and you should definitely download this ma fucka.

teddy pendergrass is/was a diabolical genius.

my posse from the bronx

who let izzy hold my credit card?

this is what happens when you get drunk, freak out about your face, and order acne products under your cat's nickname.

i mean, technically it's my roommate's cat, but i make a pretty good step daddy.

NEW FREE DOWNLOAD

this track has been affectionately dubbed by (mostly) some female fans (none of whom knew each other) as "the suck my dick song", even though it has nothing to do with fellatio, and actually came about because of something that i did live with the original since it had no chorus. this was also the song that birthed the infamous "fuck mike dillon" night, but that's another story. anyway, i decided to let the fans speak, so here it is. produced by and starring myself. no hot oral action described within, but the 2 verses are precise mirrors of one another, and its kinda cool. freely downloadable, so bump it in your ride, mayne.

the suck my dick song by juan huevos

um ... no homo? OR facebook fun pt. 3

this is from the same person as the one before, i suppose i could just add them as a friend and get all these pics posted to my facebook page, but it's more crev this way. i don't know who got tagged in this photo, but the man with the rolling pin is a rap superstar in his own right. the PBR can glued to his face is classic.

facebook fun pt. 2

not as epic as the last one, but more flattering maybe, because the other one was kinda weird. thank you, friends of friends.



PS this show was a blast. cheers to everyone involved, be sure to keep track of what these guys are up to ---> Moving Island