Tuesday, March 10, 2009

drop it like it's not

so as i freak out about my life and what i'm doing and should i move to europe or LA or just kill myself, i am starting to go through my "shit" and determine what i really need to keep and what i need to throw out/give away/burn (oh the poems i wrote in high school, i was so delicate) and yesterday i came across a very heavy box full of my collected baseball cards and stamps (the Garbage Pail Kids are somewhere else, though i am happy to say i still have the ENTIRE first series in mint condition if anyone wants to pony up, like, a couple G's or something for it - and that's "thousands", not "gangsters") and yeah, the box fell to the floor and spilled so i had to go through everything as i put it away, duh, so for serious, there are baseball cards in there that used to be worth $$$ and now no one gives a FUCK!!! remember this one?

what did this fucker do again? cork his bat? and what about this one?

that joint used to have mad trading weight!! now it's garbage. it was listed at 17.95 on one site, which is actually a lot better than i thought it would be, but still, that shit used to cardboard gold to collectors! way to go, you juicer fuck. i have a 1961 willie mays that is only, like, 40 bucks! less i think, i can't even remember!!! why am i saving this shit!!! barry bonds, frank thomas .... skybox basketball cards!! remember those??? rookies for vlade divac, david robinson, shawn kemp ... the david robinson card is 3 bucks!!! "buy it now" for three fuckin buxxxxx ... the fact alone that i have had something in a shoe box since 1990 should make it more than three bucks ... a used tissue from 1990 should be worth more than 3 bucks, that's almost 20 years old!!! it's a fuckin antique!! don't even get me started on the comic books .... everyone wants to slap the shit out of their mom for throwing away that box in the attic with the Nolan Ryan rookie, but why? cause you could have sold it for a million dollars and retired from your job as a copy machine repair man? no way, dude, no one cares. brooks robinson, warren spahn, robin roberts, the eric davis rookie, the rod carews, the mother fuckin will clarks and the carl yaztremskis (sp?) and the error cards and the, uh, i dunno, remember when kirk gibson hit that grand slam or some shit and he was hype for a second, mother fuckin 1986 o-pee-chee Wally Joyner .... apparently my tony gwynn rookie is worth about 40 but i can never find it, wonder if i traded it for bitch ass ken griffey, ruinyourcarrer.

of course, it would be in total Jonny G fashion for me to have all the cards that just don't make it into that first tier, hence all my collections, i was always just not quite good enough or willing to spend the money for the real bangers, always a wannabe faking it like i knew what i was doing, much like the music "career" i seem to have fooled some of y'all that i possess when in reality i am no different than the kid trying to trade his Devon Whites and Willie McGees for Reggie Jacksons and Roberto Clementes .....


Greg said...

jon g you make me laugh.

Webby said...

me too!

so where is your next venture?

Johnux said...

I have all of those same cards, and am equally pissed off. WTF happened? Everything I own isn't worth anything now a days, and the worst part is it "feels" worthless. I always worried when I was a kid that I was going to grow up some scattered pack rat who lives some clustered life surrounded by baseball cards, beanie babies, and piles of shit from the 42 cats I consider my "room mates". Thanks god, now I'm a "I don't need that, toss it" kind of guy. And if I absolutely can't part with something, ebay can for $3.