Friday, December 31, 2010

black swizzan

here is the first (and probably last) audio review of a film i have ever done. black swan is a rad movie but i still had to make fun of it. i left out any references to hot lesbian action, or how i have a man-crush on vincent cassel (no homo), or how pumped/buzzed the audience was (we guffawed at every joke and cringed at ever cringe-worthy moment) and yeah, i mean, it's not like she was probably dead the whole time ala jacob's ladder, and when i say vincent's head looks like a slice of pizza i'm talking about the triangular shape of it and not his complexion, but you get the point.

listen to it here ----> black swan review

Friday, December 3, 2010

swoll necks and other stories

i've been working out off and on since i was about 15. i started lifting weights with Ben Lee in my parents basement. my dad wrote us out some exercises and whatnot. that dude was cock D well into his 60's and beyond. i probably weighed in around 135 back then.

the strongest i ever got was when i worked out with Big John Fickle (RIP) ... that dude was a beast and we both built muscle pretty fast. i was 20. we went to the gym at least 3 times a week, plus i worked pretty physical jobs. i got up to 155 and did a LOT of benching and "curls for the girls" ... i ate lot of calories, mostly in the form of milkshakes and whopper juniors.

by this point in time, aka the present, many of you have seen me in a tank top or with no shirt or in my drawers and usually in all those situations i have had the benefit of stage lighting which casts shadows in all the right ways to make someone who is slightly muscular look much more so. no matter how buff i may or may not be at the time, when i look in the mirror it's still the same skinny dweeb staring back at me. i have received many nice comments on my build, which is flattering. i have also heard many references to steroids, which is also flattering, but also insulting ... if you don't think i got this way from being a depressed maniac, by myself doing push ups and pull ups and sit ups on a hard ass floor every day, then you have not done your research. i barely even use protein powder or any shit like that, it has all been hard work. you can do it, too.

regardless, a dear friend of mine, who also works out and is quite buff in his own right, hit me with this after a gig. best quote regarding my exercise prowess ever:

Meant to tell you at your show - dude, your neck is so swoll. No homo. Is that where you stick the juice needle? Right in the fucking jugular? Your neck was flexing and popping veins and shit. It looks like you hang a 45 lb plate from a chain and strap that shit to your forehead and do neck curls. It's bad ass.

haha, i am totally self-conscious of my long ass neck. at least it looks strong when i rap. my homegirl is an MC, and HER neck veins are definitely something to write about ....