so, in a fit of homesickness, i made plans to run off to budapest. for those that don't know, that is where my mom is from and where i get my exquisite bone structure. haha, we all know my face is ugly, but i got big eyeballs. anyways, i left brussels to spend a little more than 2 weeks here, thinking that family and friends would make me feel special. don't get me wrong, i LOVED brussels and all my great friends i made, really doe, and gino aka subtitle is my dog for life, there were no issues there, we were on a crev-life campaign that showed no signs of stopping. but for my own personal and depressive reasons, i felt very alone there so i thought that being in a familiar place with people that have known me since i was a baby would snap me out of it. i had no more shows on the horizon and had already accopmplished a lot in the brux, so why not?
i probably shouldn't have been in such a hurry. too late now.
as far as the place i am staying and the people i am staying with ... i am very lucky. the house is amazing, i don't even want to tell you how nice it is, and the couple i am with are super cool and have 2 very neat kids that are surprisingly not getting on my nerves, since i hate kids. which once again proves that being cute will get you anywhere, and that is why i have to work so hard all the time.
but my internet use is very limited which means less networking, no porn, and god dammit, no 21 Jump Street episodes on youtube, which has been my ecstasy pill for the past couple of weeks. i will write a 21 Jump Street blog later and also pub MY NEW ALBUM THAT JUST CAME OUT, but this is a semi-rant about budapest.
well, i guess what i want to say is that there seems to be no music scene here that has anything to do with what i do. i mean, there is hip hop, but it all seems to be really bad local stuff, and it seems also that very few american bands are coming around here. i mean, Fin Fang Foom and Auxes (2 NC bands that are great, but more on the brooding side of rock than on the dancing side of rap) had some gigs out here in the past years, but i'm just saying, scanning the upcoming show ads is hella bleak, whereas everywhere else that i have been has all types of banging shows coming up. i mean, not even dope euro acts seem to be coming through, it's not like i need to see american bands when i am europe, i'm talking dope PERIOD.
i am pissed because i tried to get up with these dudes that i rapped with 6 years ago. they were super cool and even invited me to perform with them at an event that was a Big Dada thing (sorry for the lack of links, too hard with this fucked up european laptop i am having to use right now) but i couldnt go because of some family shit. imagine my shock when i found out that these SAME DUDES were playing at the SAME VENUE only 3 days after my arrival. i was stoked. but this wack mother fucking DJ, who if he doesn't reply to my myspace messages in the next bit WILL GET SHIT ON by me on this blog, did not have the courtesy to hit me back in any capacity.
whatever.
i am on some different shit out here. i am writing and writing, with 4 new songs done, mostly produced by subtitle (with more on the way if i hunker down and figure out ableton which everyone says is easy, and to me is like trying to build a space station from paper clips and straws). i am pretending that i am a WRITER writer and am trying to complete a short story (losing steam fast, tho). i drink beer all day. i take bikram yoga classes. i sit in a sauna. i stare out the window. i take baths. i read. i don't smoke weed and smoke very few cigarettes. i play with kids.
the women here are still the best, tho. my yoga teacher the other day was so ridiculous, i mean, i was gasping for air the second she walked in the room. you don't see a lot of women put together like this in the States. the ass-hip-boo ratio is really intense.
i have always had fun here, but my head was in a different place, and most of the people i used to kick it with have kids now, i was always the baby, and now that i'm all grownz up, most of the folks are pretty settled down. the city is kind of far from where i am, so i am like this weird hermit, which is something that comes pretty natural for me, but its harder without shooting up the internet drug as much as usual.
understand: budapest may well be one the most beautiful cities i have ever seen. but i been all over it, on many occasions. i'm spoiled, yes, and i am not 'complaining' despite what it may sound like, i know i am lucky to be here, but i am OBSERVING. like, when's the last time you heard about a band coming out of budapest?
but i did learn about this guy, basically hungary's number one singer/songwriter type, the best there ever was. this song made people kill themselves. seriously. it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. resist your urge to clown what this guy looks like, how wacky hungarian sounds, and how it looks like his hands arent even touching the guitar half the time, and just sink into what a dark, beautiful, bad-fucking-ass song this is.
huevos out.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
another absinthe blog
so, however it happened, i have got drunk off absinthe 3 days in a row. at no point have i experienced waking hallucinations, but looking back on the nights, they are definitely swimmy, ya know?
last nite, my friend who has the scooter had a bunch of us over for dinner and it was really cool. he made amazing food, i talked to my new homey from miami, armando aka alpha 606, about girls and MMA fighting and we all watched funny youtube videos and cut up. earlier that day i recorded a dirty miami bass song (and another synthy dance rap where the hook is "i see girls in the sky like a space cadet") with this dude. it was a good day. so why am i so depressed all the time? who knows.
anyways, the last 2 nites, like the nite before, was filled with totally fucked up dreams. i really see how it worked for these painters who were strung out on that shit, cause if i could paint the things i have seen in my dreams, it would indeed be "surrealist" .... (PS i haven't been smoking weed, and i think i heard people say that they had crazy dreams when they quit smoking, but i smoked a bunch during the day of "day 1" of my crazy nightmares, so i wouldn't exactly hypothesize that could be a reason, i only just stopped on that particular day, cause of the McDonald's thing i may or may not blog about.)
2 nites ago i dreamt (dreamed?) i was on an airplane, sitting in the only seat that was OUTSIDE the plane. and not, like, on top of the wing, but underneath the plane, like to the side kinda, i could look down and see the fucking ground, feel wind ripping through me ... i was buckled up and in a seat, but i was outside the goddamn plane. at one point, i looked to the side and could see down the aisle into the plane (which didn't seem to be experiencing any cabin pressure problems) ... there were other seats, i just happened to be in the only one that wasn't actually in the plane. i was able to convince the flight crew to let me switch to an inside seat. later, the plane was flying super low, right above a highway, and the wing hit a concrete wall and the plane spun out of control ... we didn't crash but we spun all around up into the sky, it was scary.
last nite, amongst other madness, i dreamed this:
first, Joan Rivers was propositioning me for sex.
we were in a dark bedroom sitting on a bed, and i knew something was going down. i remember thinking that i was down for a blow job, but i didn't want to go all the way, but i was far less turned off than i should have been, i may have actually been the opposite. i make a reference to something and she says "don't worry, we're gonna fuck." i leave the room or detach or something for a sec and then she is naked, sitting on the side of the bed, all wrinkly and covering her saggy breasts with her hands and she has some kind of half-apron thing over her lower half, like covering her up a little, i figure because she is self-conscious of her older body. i lay down with my shirt off and she starts giving me a back rub. that scene pretty much ends right there.
later, i am looking in a mirror and popping all these whiteheads on my face with a needle. there is one on the right side of my face, sort of where my chin ends and cheek begins, and its kinda big, and i end up digging out a tiny mountain of a zit, which leaves a small, bloody hole in my face, maybe about the size of the tip of my pinky. i look at it in the mirror and it looks pretty gross. i go about whatever i am doing for the next bit, and the hole doesn't stop looking bloody, and seems to grow over time. later, i am looking in the mirror again. the hole is now the size of a quarter and is basically healed all around, like a stretched earlobe without the plug in.. i have my mouth open and i can see daylight passing through the hole, i can actually see through the hole into my surroundings.
later, my friend chuck that i haven't talked to in a long time, seems to have a boat, but it is in a giant swimming pool that has all these weird wires running around part of it. i want to kick it with him on the boat, but there are some other dudes horsing around on the deck of the boat and they seem to be yelling at me in a condescending way. so i storm off, on the pier that i appear to be on. for whatever reason, i am wearing a small stars-n-stripes bathing suit and have a stars-n-stripes bandanna tied around my head. maybe i miss america.
last nite, my friend who has the scooter had a bunch of us over for dinner and it was really cool. he made amazing food, i talked to my new homey from miami, armando aka alpha 606, about girls and MMA fighting and we all watched funny youtube videos and cut up. earlier that day i recorded a dirty miami bass song (and another synthy dance rap where the hook is "i see girls in the sky like a space cadet") with this dude. it was a good day. so why am i so depressed all the time? who knows.
anyways, the last 2 nites, like the nite before, was filled with totally fucked up dreams. i really see how it worked for these painters who were strung out on that shit, cause if i could paint the things i have seen in my dreams, it would indeed be "surrealist" .... (PS i haven't been smoking weed, and i think i heard people say that they had crazy dreams when they quit smoking, but i smoked a bunch during the day of "day 1" of my crazy nightmares, so i wouldn't exactly hypothesize that could be a reason, i only just stopped on that particular day, cause of the McDonald's thing i may or may not blog about.)
2 nites ago i dreamt (dreamed?) i was on an airplane, sitting in the only seat that was OUTSIDE the plane. and not, like, on top of the wing, but underneath the plane, like to the side kinda, i could look down and see the fucking ground, feel wind ripping through me ... i was buckled up and in a seat, but i was outside the goddamn plane. at one point, i looked to the side and could see down the aisle into the plane (which didn't seem to be experiencing any cabin pressure problems) ... there were other seats, i just happened to be in the only one that wasn't actually in the plane. i was able to convince the flight crew to let me switch to an inside seat. later, the plane was flying super low, right above a highway, and the wing hit a concrete wall and the plane spun out of control ... we didn't crash but we spun all around up into the sky, it was scary.
last nite, amongst other madness, i dreamed this:
first, Joan Rivers was propositioning me for sex.
we were in a dark bedroom sitting on a bed, and i knew something was going down. i remember thinking that i was down for a blow job, but i didn't want to go all the way, but i was far less turned off than i should have been, i may have actually been the opposite. i make a reference to something and she says "don't worry, we're gonna fuck." i leave the room or detach or something for a sec and then she is naked, sitting on the side of the bed, all wrinkly and covering her saggy breasts with her hands and she has some kind of half-apron thing over her lower half, like covering her up a little, i figure because she is self-conscious of her older body. i lay down with my shirt off and she starts giving me a back rub. that scene pretty much ends right there.
later, i am looking in a mirror and popping all these whiteheads on my face with a needle. there is one on the right side of my face, sort of where my chin ends and cheek begins, and its kinda big, and i end up digging out a tiny mountain of a zit, which leaves a small, bloody hole in my face, maybe about the size of the tip of my pinky. i look at it in the mirror and it looks pretty gross. i go about whatever i am doing for the next bit, and the hole doesn't stop looking bloody, and seems to grow over time. later, i am looking in the mirror again. the hole is now the size of a quarter and is basically healed all around, like a stretched earlobe without the plug in.. i have my mouth open and i can see daylight passing through the hole, i can actually see through the hole into my surroundings.
later, my friend chuck that i haven't talked to in a long time, seems to have a boat, but it is in a giant swimming pool that has all these weird wires running around part of it. i want to kick it with him on the boat, but there are some other dudes horsing around on the deck of the boat and they seem to be yelling at me in a condescending way. so i storm off, on the pier that i appear to be on. for whatever reason, i am wearing a small stars-n-stripes bathing suit and have a stars-n-stripes bandanna tied around my head. maybe i miss america.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
painter
i have been on an absinthe quest since i got to europe. i don't know that i have ever really drank the real thing, there was one time maybe but i don't really remember it well.
now, they have absinthe at a lot of bars here, but not the original. they DO have wormwood content in them, but it is very, very low. i drank some on my birthday in brussels and felt kinda kooky, and had absolutely wacko dreams that night, but i was sick and drinking a lot during the day so i don't really know how much of that could have been from the absinthe.
i got a real bottle in amsterdam yesterday. i drank a decent amount, some in hot tea, and then some pretty much just straight up. the lady at the store said you don't exactly hallucinate, per se. whatever. it happens to also be very high in alcohol.
if anyone saw my ramblings on facebook, twitter, or my blog (see below) you will note that i seemed to turn into one of these: meow
i would say i was definitely "drunk" but in a surreal kind of way. i didn't smoke any weed or anything because i almost passed out earlier that day in a Mickey D's, but that will be my next blog. but i did have absolutely LONG, mysterious, intense crazy dreams. and i can't remember them all, but here a few images. i imagine if i drank, say, twice as much, my waking state could have very well evolved into these. ha, maybe if i had STAYED awake, since after some weird crev shit, i just passed out. some things i saw/went through:
- a little tiny alien/fuzzy creature type guy, there were actually 2 of them but i can't remember what the other looked like. he was cute (couldn't really see his face, kinda like one of these guys...?)
and maybe 10 inches or so tall, wearing a purple outfit, fleece, almost like a snuggie, but it was clothes. and a hat of the same material. we were kind of communicating like one would with a little cat (he didn't speak, maybe made little noises). he was on a table and then i accidentally struck him to floor. he was getting up, and i swear i knocked his pants kind of off because i noticed him putting them back on .... before attacking me like a savage and locking teeth into my arm, at which point i felt a terrible burning pain, i was thrashing around trying to get him off, it was making me pass out. i don't think i was alone at the time, but i don't remember what happened.
-seeing danny devito and rhea perlman (i assume) riding by on bikes in what was maybe downtown LA.
-flying through the air, amongst clouds made of fabric until i hit the "ceiling" which was also fabric-cloud material.
-being forced to live with this awful strange family that had some either weird molester or mormom-type arrangement going on. i have no idea why i was there.
-having no head, and seeing my body 3rd person as a weird torso, with a plastic cup holder where my neck would be, and thinking the thoughts that would come with this .... wanting to say something but realizing "okay, i can't speak without a head. okay, i will just think thoughts. but how can i think without a head? but i am thinking right now." etc. it was totally fucked.
now, they have absinthe at a lot of bars here, but not the original. they DO have wormwood content in them, but it is very, very low. i drank some on my birthday in brussels and felt kinda kooky, and had absolutely wacko dreams that night, but i was sick and drinking a lot during the day so i don't really know how much of that could have been from the absinthe.
i got a real bottle in amsterdam yesterday. i drank a decent amount, some in hot tea, and then some pretty much just straight up. the lady at the store said you don't exactly hallucinate, per se. whatever. it happens to also be very high in alcohol.
if anyone saw my ramblings on facebook, twitter, or my blog (see below) you will note that i seemed to turn into one of these: meow
i would say i was definitely "drunk" but in a surreal kind of way. i didn't smoke any weed or anything because i almost passed out earlier that day in a Mickey D's, but that will be my next blog. but i did have absolutely LONG, mysterious, intense crazy dreams. and i can't remember them all, but here a few images. i imagine if i drank, say, twice as much, my waking state could have very well evolved into these. ha, maybe if i had STAYED awake, since after some weird crev shit, i just passed out. some things i saw/went through:
- a little tiny alien/fuzzy creature type guy, there were actually 2 of them but i can't remember what the other looked like. he was cute (couldn't really see his face, kinda like one of these guys...?)
and maybe 10 inches or so tall, wearing a purple outfit, fleece, almost like a snuggie, but it was clothes. and a hat of the same material. we were kind of communicating like one would with a little cat (he didn't speak, maybe made little noises). he was on a table and then i accidentally struck him to floor. he was getting up, and i swear i knocked his pants kind of off because i noticed him putting them back on .... before attacking me like a savage and locking teeth into my arm, at which point i felt a terrible burning pain, i was thrashing around trying to get him off, it was making me pass out. i don't think i was alone at the time, but i don't remember what happened.
-seeing danny devito and rhea perlman (i assume) riding by on bikes in what was maybe downtown LA.
-flying through the air, amongst clouds made of fabric until i hit the "ceiling" which was also fabric-cloud material.
-being forced to live with this awful strange family that had some either weird molester or mormom-type arrangement going on. i have no idea why i was there.
-having no head, and seeing my body 3rd person as a weird torso, with a plastic cup holder where my neck would be, and thinking the thoughts that would come with this .... wanting to say something but realizing "okay, i can't speak without a head. okay, i will just think thoughts. but how can i think without a head? but i am thinking right now." etc. it was totally fucked.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
asinthye
gaZie mon frer in the asylyim phiilime gets me off this island crane neck same teck fane feign sex got damn reks xoxoue exrecsie my polyoaihsdflkjhbjkr
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